Ego - your best friend or biggest enemy?

Do you often compare yourself with others? Do you often underestimate others? Do you often praise others while belittling yourself? The only person you need to compare yourself to is with yourself from yesterday.

EGO in Latin means "I". The ego represents your identity, what you think you are. The ego is a filter through which we observe ourselves, our environment, and the people around us. The ego is a set of experiences from the past, and its function is to help us survive. If it is in a healthy measure, it has a positive function, and that is to correct our mistakes, to behave appropriately to the circumstances, and more.

When our ego is hurt, we become more aware of our environment, we become hypersensitive, nervous, and frustrated. We become self-critical, pessimistic, frustrated, dissatisfied with ourselves, unfulfilled, etc.

Every person has an ego and it is impossible to "kill" it, but it is very important to ask yourself whether you control the ego, or the ego controls you?

A FEW TIPS ON HOW TO CONTROL YOUR EGO

• Don't take anything personally! Everything someone does or says is just his perception of reality. Accept the fact that someone has a completely different image of us than we have of ourselves, and that’s perfectly fine. Everyone looks at the world through their filter, that is, through their perception. An excellent book that deals with this is "Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz.

• Stop idealizing people you don’t know and their paths to success! When we see that someone is successful, we are often mistaken that that person is certainly a natural genius, that it was certainly easy for her, instead of realizing that most people start from the same point, from scratch. Most successful people start from scratch, from the position in which most of us find ourselves. They invested effort, love, sacrifice, and more in their success. So let's stop dealing with other people's success and focus on your path to success.

• Measure three times, cut once! When you find yourself in a society where your ego starts to work because you think they are above you, you should pay attention not to speak in vain, but to think carefully about what you want to say, and only then say it. Speak more slowly so that you have time to think about what you are going to say, so you will avoid outbursts and embarrassment.

• Don't feed the troll! Don't try to explain yourself to haters and don't try to explain your views and their accuracy. You will never be right with them, no matter how hard you try to prove it to them. They don't want you to be right and therefore you will never be right. Don't get upset about it, don't waste time on such things, but invest it in something smarter and more useful.

• Be authentic! If you are authentic, there is no need to be upset that you are not like someone else. You are what you are and that is what beauty is all about. Be unique whether or not others understand and support you. Your path may be slower, but it is your path, and do not look from the side. Focus on your path and don’t look around.

• Be grateful! Without gratitude, there is no genius. Gratitude serves you to calm your ego, which constantly wants more and always has little. Being grateful for everything you have now is a way to get even more things to be grateful for. Try to sleep before the morning and in the morning as soon as you get up the list, or even better write down, at least five things that you are grateful for. This will help calm your ego and focus more on what you have now rather than what you lack.

• Everyone is interchangeable! No matter how smart, beautiful, good, humane, successful, etc. you are, there will always be people who will be better than you. It makes you interchangeable, just like everyone else so you throw out the arrogance and appreciate where you are now because you can very easily be replaced by someone else.

• Stop complaining, whining, and gossiping about others! If you don't have anything nice and positive to say about someone, then it's best to keep quiet. Talk only about those people you can praise and who you can point out as positive. Do not spread negativity, focus on virtues and strengths. Praise others. When you criticize and gossip about others, you are only talking about yourself.

• Stop striving for perfectionism! Perfectionism does not exist and accepts it. Whether it's work, home, or the gym, for example, don't try to achieve perfection and don't get upset about it. We are not robots. Strive to do whatever you can, whatever you can do. Don't blame yourself for not doing exactly what you imagined or expected. It is important that you gave one hundred percent, that only counts.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOUR EGO WAS WANTED

There is a list of behaviors that we are all prone to when our ego "goes crazy". This includes constant whining and grief over our destiny, life, complaining about our boss, colleagues, family, parents, etc. It also includes very frequent conflicts, conflicts, excessive self-criticism, impatience, anxiety, gossiping about others, the feeling that we miss everything, striving to be right, and more.

Everyone's ego activates different defense mechanisms when they "go crazy", but the most important thing is to be aware of that at that moment and to be aware of that mechanism. In my case, it is usually too much self-criticism, striving for perfectionism, the feeling that I always "miss a little more" to succeed, and so on. From this, I can conclude that the ego has gone mad, and I strive to "calm it down" and put it back in its place.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself when your ego goes crazy:

• Am I better today than I was yesterday?

• What have I done today for myself and what for those who are less happy than me?

• What have I done today for those who have less than me?

• How can I serve the world with all my talents I have?

• Do I use my talents only for myself, or do I share them with others?

• In the evening, ask yourself: What have I done well for others today?

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